...or "I don't have any strong feelings on this word at all, really"
Yes, I am a slacker. Yes, posting multiple times a week, or even multiple times a month, is apparently too much for me. But I have been working on other writing projects. Mostly essays. Mostly during statistics class. So, keep an eye out for a potential parasitic growth blog springing out of this guy. Maybe it will happen. But don't get your hopes up.
Fondly,
Maddy
11 December 2009
Reciprocal
...or "I still hate math"
Yes, you have heard it. Straight from the math major's mouth. Math sucks. This is a fact that to most is as natural as the rooting reflex; the two instincts even emerge around the same time. It is little better on the other side, where the mathies lurk. Or maybe math just isn't my thing. But the word 'reciprocal' surely is. (And with the use of the single quotes, we can see my unwilling assimilation into the realm of coding. Gag.) Basically, a reciprocal is something that is inversely related. Pretty simple stuff, unless you start delving deep into group theory. It can also be a tit for a tat, eye for an eye sort of thing. Or it could even be something that shared on both sides. Like love. Or hate, for that matter. But let us focus on the reason for the season. Aside from that delightful phonetic K, I rather enjoy the requisite reciprocal warm fuzzies that we get this time of year. People seem to take time out and show some reciprocity to all the folks that have made a difference in their lives. So, on the eve of Chanukah, and soon to be Christmas, try and take that initiative to inversely relate and do something for a buddy. Of course, I will be buying said buddies beer, which will be greatly appreciated. Even for the non-religious among us, it is a great time to quit being such a snark and say "Thanks, kids," to all the people for whom, somewhere in your cold heart, you actually reciprocally care.
Yes, you have heard it. Straight from the math major's mouth. Math sucks. This is a fact that to most is as natural as the rooting reflex; the two instincts even emerge around the same time. It is little better on the other side, where the mathies lurk. Or maybe math just isn't my thing. But the word 'reciprocal' surely is. (And with the use of the single quotes, we can see my unwilling assimilation into the realm of coding. Gag.) Basically, a reciprocal is something that is inversely related. Pretty simple stuff, unless you start delving deep into group theory. It can also be a tit for a tat, eye for an eye sort of thing. Or it could even be something that shared on both sides. Like love. Or hate, for that matter. But let us focus on the reason for the season. Aside from that delightful phonetic K, I rather enjoy the requisite reciprocal warm fuzzies that we get this time of year. People seem to take time out and show some reciprocity to all the folks that have made a difference in their lives. So, on the eve of Chanukah, and soon to be Christmas, try and take that initiative to inversely relate and do something for a buddy. Of course, I will be buying said buddies beer, which will be greatly appreciated. Even for the non-religious among us, it is a great time to quit being such a snark and say "Thanks, kids," to all the people for whom, somewhere in your cold heart, you actually reciprocally care.
28 October 2009
Hoof
This is a word near and dear to my cold, bitter heart; for the past two months, I have been "hoofing it" everywhere I need, want, and am strangely compelled to go. In fact, I believe my feet are actually becoming hard, cloven formations at the end of fur covered, bent legs. Just don't tell PT Barnum about this modern marvel--"Sideshow Act" is not a job description I find appealing. As I was hoofing it through what is quickly becoming a winter that would rival the frostiness of my heart, I started thinking about this word. I immediately starting laughing hysterically. (The people around me started backing off frantically.) I find this word hilarious. Come on, say it. You know you want to. I find that much of the hilarity of this word comes from the breakdown of all phonetic order. Quite the shocker for all the illiterates out there reading this blog. I also like the brusque sound of the word. Perfect for the cold and bitter. But I would have to say the funniest thing is the fact that hooves are actually horns for the feet. And I would bet they are a bitch to keep clean. Either way, as I walk home on the horns capping off my unnaturally arched feet, I will probably crack myself up whilst repeating this word rapidly to the cold night air.
17 September 2009
Serif
...or "Put your pants back on, Father Dan, I'm talking about fonts"
That's right kids, I haven't suddenly turned religious. I am not writing about Senor Aquinas' fiery angels of charity. Nor am I talking about a has-been Christian rock group. But maybe if you are feeling particularly philanthropic, mosey on over to http://www.myspace.com/seraph6 and check out their hot tracks. Maybe even buy a CD or t-shirt. Free set of six wings with $100 purchase.
I would prefer not to continue to advertise some dorky Christian band, so I shall proceed to my point. Have you ever been browsing the font list on MS Word, looking for one that will make that six and a half page paper look slightly more like the eight pages it is supposed to be, and happened upon a "Sans Serif" font? I, for one, used to think it was some sort of fancy classical Latin font used for only the snootiest of scholarly entries. I have rather mixed emotions about the day I found out the true meaning. I never imagined that a "serif" was the garnish of typeface; the celery stalk in the printer's Bloody Mary. However, it was one more label for a seemingly insignificant object that I could now add to my lexicon, finally giving the long suffering aglet some company. So light up some flaming shooters tonight, and cheers to the serif for me.
That's right kids, I haven't suddenly turned religious. I am not writing about Senor Aquinas' fiery angels of charity. Nor am I talking about a has-been Christian rock group. But maybe if you are feeling particularly philanthropic, mosey on over to http://www.myspace.com/seraph6 and check out their hot tracks. Maybe even buy a CD or t-shirt. Free set of six wings with $100 purchase.
I would prefer not to continue to advertise some dorky Christian band, so I shall proceed to my point. Have you ever been browsing the font list on MS Word, looking for one that will make that six and a half page paper look slightly more like the eight pages it is supposed to be, and happened upon a "Sans Serif" font? I, for one, used to think it was some sort of fancy classical Latin font used for only the snootiest of scholarly entries. I have rather mixed emotions about the day I found out the true meaning. I never imagined that a "serif" was the garnish of typeface; the celery stalk in the printer's Bloody Mary. However, it was one more label for a seemingly insignificant object that I could now add to my lexicon, finally giving the long suffering aglet some company. So light up some flaming shooters tonight, and cheers to the serif for me.
14 August 2009
Shan't
...or "Next stop: Shantytown."
This is the first contraction on which I have written, but it is one close to my heart. By "shan't," I am not talking about the singular form of my roommate's extra long shorts (get it? shorts that are almost pants!), but instead of the mash-up of "shall" and "not." It always throws people for a loop when you respond to an inappropriate suggestion with an oh-so-righteous "I shan't. What kind of a girl do you think I am?" The would-be archaic word lends itself so nicely to creating an element of surprise rarely garnered in everyday bar conversation. Usually all you hear is "Ooo yeah, whereya live? You got cranberry vodka?" Sorry, sugar, if you want to take me to your own personal shanty, be prepared to hear that I shan't be making it tonight. Talk about a shall not. I'll pass on those roofies, thank you very much.
This is the first contraction on which I have written, but it is one close to my heart. By "shan't," I am not talking about the singular form of my roommate's extra long shorts (get it? shorts that are almost pants!), but instead of the mash-up of "shall" and "not." It always throws people for a loop when you respond to an inappropriate suggestion with an oh-so-righteous "I shan't. What kind of a girl do you think I am?" The would-be archaic word lends itself so nicely to creating an element of surprise rarely garnered in everyday bar conversation. Usually all you hear is "Ooo yeah, whereya live? You got cranberry vodka?" Sorry, sugar, if you want to take me to your own personal shanty, be prepared to hear that I shan't be making it tonight. Talk about a shall not. I'll pass on those roofies, thank you very much.
20 July 2009
Yogurt
...or "Yoplait-Haters Dannonymous"
Merriam-Webster defines yogurt as " a fermented slightly acid often flavored semisolid food made of milk and milk solids to which cultures of two bacteria (Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus) have been added." Streptococcus, streptococcus... is that like the bacteria behind strep throat? Why yes, it is indeed a member of the same genus. But don't fret kids--this particular strand is non-pathogenic. I bet that makes you feel lots better! Oh wait, the "fermented" and "semisolid" is still off-putting? Oh well, can't win them all. I am in fact rather uneasy admitting that I have gone through a couple of phases where I would eat yogurt. After reading the M-W definition of what must be one of the loveliest entries in our lexicon, I think any chance of a future yogurt phase has been rather effectively quashed. In retrospect, the word "yogurt" sounds vaguely like the noise of coughing something up. The awkward emphasis on the first syllable is rather unsettling. Unless, of course, you are British and don't (yo)play that way. But you Britons are not off the hook. You guys spell it more like you pronounce it: yoghurt. I do not like this, but this may be personal bias; I am historically bad with spelling certain words containing the letter "h." (Would anyone care for some alchohol?) But a yogurt by any other name would still be as weird, so any way you spell it, yogurt remains a odd name for an odd food.
Merriam-Webster defines yogurt as " a fermented slightly acid often flavored semisolid food made of milk and milk solids to which cultures of two bacteria (Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus) have been added." Streptococcus, streptococcus... is that like the bacteria behind strep throat? Why yes, it is indeed a member of the same genus. But don't fret kids--this particular strand is non-pathogenic. I bet that makes you feel lots better! Oh wait, the "fermented" and "semisolid" is still off-putting? Oh well, can't win them all. I am in fact rather uneasy admitting that I have gone through a couple of phases where I would eat yogurt. After reading the M-W definition of what must be one of the loveliest entries in our lexicon, I think any chance of a future yogurt phase has been rather effectively quashed. In retrospect, the word "yogurt" sounds vaguely like the noise of coughing something up. The awkward emphasis on the first syllable is rather unsettling. Unless, of course, you are British and don't (yo)play that way. But you Britons are not off the hook. You guys spell it more like you pronounce it: yoghurt. I do not like this, but this may be personal bias; I am historically bad with spelling certain words containing the letter "h." (Would anyone care for some alchohol?) But a yogurt by any other name would still be as weird, so any way you spell it, yogurt remains a odd name for an odd food.
Procrastination
...or "Procrastination is very bad. Procrastination makes people mad."
I am giving you guys an update in form of a post. Procrastination is not really a word I like or dislike, but a word that is just there. Like my horrible habit of same. So I am back in school, part-time for now, and will be taking study breaks to write. So I have my first exam tonight, and lo and behold, my first (and soon to be second) new post in a while is up. Keep posted for more postings, because I have homework a couple times a week, and we all know how I start getting distracted whilst doing schoolwork. Math and I got back together, and although I am enjoying the proof writing, this professor doesn't require quite as long-winded of proofs as I have had to write in the past. Bummer. We all know how I like to see myself write (like hear myself talk, but I guess writing is more of a visual than auditory thing). So in the spirit of procrastination and self-involvement, there have been a lot of changes in my life, including a new apartment, maybe a second job, and maybe even finding a new playdate for Javier (my kitty cat). But most importantly, I am back into my love-hate relationship with school, and I may be taking some fun English classes to give me even more fodder for my farm.
LYLAS,
Maddy
P.S. If you guys liked the snippet from the poem above, I can send you the whole thing. I wrote it in elementary school and it was a hit!
I am giving you guys an update in form of a post. Procrastination is not really a word I like or dislike, but a word that is just there. Like my horrible habit of same. So I am back in school, part-time for now, and will be taking study breaks to write. So I have my first exam tonight, and lo and behold, my first (and soon to be second) new post in a while is up. Keep posted for more postings, because I have homework a couple times a week, and we all know how I start getting distracted whilst doing schoolwork. Math and I got back together, and although I am enjoying the proof writing, this professor doesn't require quite as long-winded of proofs as I have had to write in the past. Bummer. We all know how I like to see myself write (like hear myself talk, but I guess writing is more of a visual than auditory thing). So in the spirit of procrastination and self-involvement, there have been a lot of changes in my life, including a new apartment, maybe a second job, and maybe even finding a new playdate for Javier (my kitty cat). But most importantly, I am back into my love-hate relationship with school, and I may be taking some fun English classes to give me even more fodder for my farm.
LYLAS,
Maddy
P.S. If you guys liked the snippet from the poem above, I can send you the whole thing. I wrote it in elementary school and it was a hit!
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